Friday, 13 May 2016

Toxic People and How Not to Know Them

Hey guys!

Okay so I thought for my first post back I wanted to have a bit of a talk about something that I've learned recently while I've been getting pretty close to some new people.
It's been a big period of transistion for me lately, with a new relationship and also the fact that my best friend and I don't really talk anymore, that I've been getting much closer with a lot of other people, people that maybe are even better for me. I don't know..

It's truly terrifying getting close to someone for the first time, in my experience anyway, whether that be a new partner or a new friend, or even an old friend that you're becoming closer to.

It's a truly beautiful thing, to be able to trust someone enough to be able to tell them everything, let them see more than just what's on the surface.
But what I can assume that most of my readers will agree with me on, is that it's also goddamn terrifying.

Opening up to someone new for the first time, in my opinion, is not only one of the hardest things to do in life, but also the most courageous. Especially courageous for people that have been through more heartache, that have experienced how awful it feels to realise that you've opened up to and trusted the wrong person. Whether that person took advantage of your trust, or whether they just decided they didn't like the things you were showing them and left, that's never going to not hurt.

However, nothing worth having ever comes easy.

I guess that's the beauty of human relationships and human contact, is that everyone does react to things so differently.
Someone might think that your need for attention, or constant excitement is overwhelming and too much to handle, while someone else might think that it's endearing and it may just turn into another thing that they love about you.

And it's so amazing when you find that person, or people. The ones that don't just accept certain things about your personality, people that don't love you in spite of those things, but people that love you BECAUSE of them.

That took me way too long to realise, and now that I'm in that place and I've found those people, I can't explain how important that is.

And I can't explain enough that there are people out there that will love you for you, regardless of how unlovable you might feel at times, regardless of how many people before have left you, regardless of who they were, boyfriends, best friends, parents.
You ARE loveable, and you will find those people, as long as you don't give up looking.

So to all of my readers, get out of any relationship, any friendship where you feel like they love you in spite of ANYTHING. Because, that's not love, and it never will be!

I hope that all of you can actually take something from this! I hope that you can all take my advice and please just look after yourselves, you don't need toxic people in your life.

It took me 20 years to realise that. And now that I have, I'm surrounded by the best people in this entire world, the most loving and caring people and I feel loved everyday. And I hope that one day, all of you, every single one, can feel that way too.


I'd love to hear from you guys!
Please feel free to comment your stories when it comes to this stuff, if you guys want advice at all and even if you don't want to post it on here, feel free to chuck me an email and we can have a chat :)

Love you all!
xxxxxxxxx
T


Instagram: http://instagram.com/taylorbekkers

Twitter: http://twitter.com/Taylor.Bekkers

Email: taylorbekkers2@gmail.com

Tumblr: http://ottenere-scopata.tumblr.com

Sunday, 8 May 2016

An Apology

Hey guys!

Okay so I guess this post is mainly for any regular readers of this book to be honest. As you guys may have noticed, I've been a bit quiet lately and haven't posted anything in a few months.
Basically, I just wanted to say that I'm really sorry for that!

My personal life has been pretty hectic lately with the start of a new full time job on top of a new, amazing long distance relationship and then some family stuff and friendship group stuff that's been going on, I haven't really been able to find the time, or the energy to actually get on here and blog.

However, now that I've settled in to all of the new and exciting things going on in my life, I'm definitely going to be trying to post heaps more so make sure that you keep an eye out on this space!!

And, if you are new to this blog and this happens to be the first post that you are reading, this will most likely be an awful introduction, but regardless of that, WELCOME!

I'll be trying to now upload a new blog post every Friday afternoon so keep an eye out for those ones.
I will probably post a new one this week during the week however, considering how awfully excited I am to get back into it and have a chat to you guys again!


Thanks so much for reading everyone, and if there's anything that you guys would be interested in hearing about please please let me know!

Love you all
xxxxxxxxxx
T

Friday, 5 February 2016

Grief, pain and what it does to us

Hey guys,

So I've been thinking a lot lately about how people deal with the hardships in their lives.
I was talking to a friend the other day about how much grief changes people, and how it's moments like those that can really bring out the truth in a person.

I've read a lot of quotes and books that explore this, that if you really want to know a person, listen to them when they're grieving or going through a hardship. And I have to say that I think this is really true, not only for other people but for yourselves.

I have been through hardships in my life, everyone has, and I can say that as much as they sucked, as much as some of them definitely weren't for the better, I have learnt so much about myself, my emotions and my strength from each and every one of them.

As some of you may know, I work on an anxiety and OCD helpline so I do come across many different people dealing with different issues in many different ways on that helpline.
This is just so intriguing to me, I mean, the ways that two different people would deal with the same situation mentally amazes me.
Especially considering how similar the human race is when it comes to a physical and biological level. I mean, sure there are small differences, but two different people with the same disease or illness will most likely show most of the same symptoms.
You have a cold and you might have a sore throat and a congested nose, I have a cold and I might have the congestion and a headache. I mean, it's more or less the same.

But grief and mentality are so different. Which makes dealing with it all the harder, as there aren't one stop fixes for it. It's a process, it's a struggle.
It involves working with your head, learning from it, accepting it and working on different ways to try and decrease the problem.
To me, it's enlightening.
But not many people have the courage or the strength to be able to look at themselves and analyse themselves in this way.

Philip Emeagawli said that 'The hardships I encountered in the past will help me succeed in the future'.
 I really want to believe this, to believe that everything happens for a reason, and that at the end of the day, the shit we all go through has a purpose. That we grow from it. I have to believe this or else I would never be able to get out of bed some mornings.
But maybe it's not true. Maybe life really is just a bastard and shitty things happen and nothing good comes from it and thats the end of that.

I mean, I was having a conversation with a friend the other day who said that someone she knew, after they lost a really important person in their life to cancer, that they just up and moved across the world. Didn't tell their wife or children, or anyone else.
They just got up, left and started over.

Whereas, other people I have come across in a situation like that would just pull everyone so close to them. Too scared to let go in case something awful happened.

But I don't know, I mean the way I look at it is that sometimes life really sucks.
People in your life can decide to just leave, you may miss out on that job because of something as simple as one wrong answer on a test or maybe all you want to do is hang out with someone who is currently 11,658km away.
As Rainbow Rowell says in her book Eleanor and Park, "Life's a bastard".
But you know what, that doesn't mean that life can't still be beautiful as well.
It doesn't mean that you have to stop living, you need to work around your problems, be strong, tune into your own head and live..

What do you guys think? I'd love to get a debate/conversation going on this sort of stuff!
Let me know in the comments or chuck me an email, I'd love to hear your stories!

Thanks for reading,
Love you all
xxxxxxx T


LINKS
Instagram: instragram.com/taylorbekkers
Twitter: twitter.com/TaylorBekkers
Tumblr: ottenere-scopata.tumblr.com
Google+: https://plus.google.com/107161687567523030394
Email: taylorbekkers2@gmail.com

Monday, 1 February 2016

BEAUTY DISCOVERY!

Hey guys,

Okay so I have absolutely fallen in love with some new hair products I recently discovered and so I thought that I'd do a nice little post about these as I've been kind of stuck with post ideas since I got back from Europe!

So, I'll start by talking about this brand of hair care called Nak.
They're all Australian made and owned which is why they came to my attention.
I have heard so much about this brand for ages, mainly for their heat protectant spray which is supposed to be incredible, but have always sort of just forgot about it or just never got around to checking it out.

However, for Christmas I picked up a new GHD straightener and hair dryer and so therefore needed new heat protectant spray.
But then I discovered that Nak actually make this hair care range called AROMAS.
Basically they're various hair care products made with oils and various oils and natural products - they are also completely vegan friendly which is something I've been trying to keep my eye on recently when buying beauty stuff.

The first product I want to talk about from this range is the AROMAS Blonde Shampoo and Conditioner with argan oil.

These products are for coloured, highlighted and natural blonde hair.
The shampoo and conditioner are said to remove any unwanted brassy tones and adding blue and violet colour pigments.

It is made with lavender so just from that I was sold considering how much I love that smell, and then the adorable packaging as well, I didn't even really care if it worked or not.
But I've used it a few times now and I have to say, my hair has never felt healthier! It also kind of enhanced my blonde - which is coloured, which really surprised me! It's thicker and has more body than in a very long time!


I also picked up this second product, as I've been looking for something similar for a really long time. I went through a stage when I was younger where I used to bleach my hair, a lot and straighten it almost every day, without looking after it at all. So that's left it a little dead and very dehydrated.

So I found this, also from the Nak AROMAS range - AROMAS Hydra Therapy with argan oil.

So this stuff is an intensive treatment moisture bath for dehydrated, coloured hair like my own!
It also has lavender in it and also is supposed to prepare your hair for heat styling - as you can see the little sticker on the label.

This stuff I have only used once and it seemed to definitely make my hair more manageable, which is amazing as anyone that knows me will know how messy and difficult my hair is.
It smells amazing and considering it comes from this range, I think it's going to be an absolute lifesaver for me!


These products are so amazing and I can't wait to test out some of their other stuff.
And for anyone else as well that's curious, I also picked up their heat protectant spray which seems to work just as well as everyone said that it did!

For anyone that lives in Australia, you can get all of this stuff from Hairhouse Warehouse and probably other beauty shops as well like Priceline.
For anyone else, I will put the link to Nak's website down below so you guys can go and shop to your hearts content!

Thanks for reading guys!
Love you all
xxxxxxxx T


LINKS

Nak's website: http://www.nakhair.com.au/

My instagram: instagram.com/taylorbekkers
My twitter: twitter.com/TaylorBekkers
My tumblr: ottenere-scopata.tumblr.com






Monday, 25 January 2016

My Top 4 Europe Experiences!

Okay here we go, first of the travel posts.

I know that I said that I wasn't going to post like in detail about my trip - and I'm sticking by that.
But I do really want to share with you guys some of the most magical and amazing things/places that I experienced so that maybe one day if any of you go to Europe, you can look into these amazing things.

Okay so a quick overview of my trip:

I spend 13 days on a Contiki tour called Mediteranean Highlights.
This tour started in Madrid and ended in Rome.
It went through:
Madrid
Barcelona
Avignon
Nice
Pisa
Florence
Rome

Then after that, and as I'm writing this, I'm in London for 5 days just by myself, staying at a hostel and exploring for a bit before I go home.

Okay so of everything thats happened in this trip so far, these are my top 4 moments and top 4 things that I totally recommend that anyone going to Europe has to do! HAS TO!


1. Explore Florence at night. 
So one of the nights of my tour, we spent a night at a karaoke bar in Florence.
Obviously, karaoke means alcohol and loads of singing - which was super amazing, but it was what happened after I left that made that night one of the most memorable of my life.

So at about 12:30, the person that I was by far the closest too on my contiki and I, we decided to go for a little walk around the city before going back to our hotel.
We didn't end up getting far (we were both pretty drunk), but what we ended up doing was going to the Arno Riverside and just standing there, staring out at the view of the city.
I'm not trying to be cliche, but it was just breathtaking. Florence is by far one of the most beautiful cities in the world, and that was only emphasised at night, with all of the lights, and the magic of Italy.
I would also really recommend following what I did and going there with someone really important to you, makes it all the more magical!

Unfortunately I didn't get a photo of the view from here at night - but here's a view of Florence (and my hot friends and I) regardless so you guys can sort of see what I'm talking about!


2. Take some time out to sit and have a coffee in Pisa
This is literally a moment that I will never forget.
So walking around Pisa - for those of you who don't know, because there were a few people on my tour who didn't, the leaning tower is not just sitting there
by itself.
There is a little area where the leaning tower is which also has some beautiful chapels - all in the same basic architectural style of the tower, and also a few museums showing the work of the men who designed and built these buildings.

Anyway, it's absolutely breathtaking and super beautiful. But you can totally get overwhelmed by all of the people and all of the stuff going on.
What I ended up doing, with the same guy as I walked around Florence at night with, we ended up just finding this really adorable coffee shop just off to the left of the tower, got one of the best cappuccinos I've ever had in my entire life, sat down and just basked in the view and the beauty and romance of it all.

This is a big part of travelling that I think a lot of people forget, especially when you're doing something like a Contiki or tour, you rush around trying to see everything so quickly that you really just forget to sit back, and take in the view and the experience.
To appreciate the magic of silence, to just take it all in.



3. Visit Camp Nou Stadium, Barcelona
So this was a very very big deal for me, being as much of a mad football fan as I am.
I know this definitely isn't for everyone and many people wouldn't really appreciate this in the way I did.
But - this is MY top 4 Europe experiences and I know that many football fans that are out there would be just as amazed by this as I was.

Camp Nou totally overtook my expectations and was much more amazing than I thought it would be.
It really did take my breath away - from the museum experience where you can see all of Futbol Club Barcelona's trophies (and there is a lot, like more than you can even imagine) then to the dressing rooms and 'backstage' areas, and of course, the stadium itself.
Absolutely beautiful!


4. Visit the Valley of the Fallen
For those of you who don't know, because I didn't before I got there.
The Valley of the Fallen, or Valle de los Caidos, is a Catholic Basilica and a memorial for those who died in the Spanish Civil War. Some of these people in which are actually buried behind the walls of this basilica.

So the basilica is built at the bottom of this massive cross - the largest cross in Spain.
However, something that I really loved and hadn't really seen anywhere else before was that this basilica, a lot of it was a memorial for the mothers who had lost sons - not just the sons.
At the top of the basilica outside there is a statue of the Virgin Mary holding Jesus after he'd been crucified, to pay homage to all of the mothers.

The inside of the basilica was just something else, I'm not religious but it just blew my mind. It was so powerful, the energy in there. You really have to go there to experience it.

There is also a really beautiful view of Madrid from here so I would say, if anyone is going to Madrid - this is a must see!



Let me know what you guys think - if you've ever been to any of these places, or if you have any questions at all.
If you don't wanna leave a comment, feel free to email me as well - address is down below.

Thanks for reading,
love you all
xxxxxxx T


Links
Instagram: instagram.com/taylorbekkers
Twitter: twitter.com/TaylorBekkers
Email: taylorbekkers2@gmail.com
Google+: https://plus.google.com/107161687567523030394



Thursday, 21 January 2016

In Memoriam

Hey guys,

Okay so of course there are a lot of travel posts coming, I've been writing quite a few in the last few days in bits and pieces that will all be up super soon.

But I just wanted to take a second out of that to just talk about something that some of you will probably care about more than anything else I've written about so far, and some of you might not even know who I'm talking about here.
So for all of those people who don't really want to be seeing these sort of posts, I do apologize, but it's something quite close to my heart and I wanted to share my thoughts on it with you all.

So this incident is the death of David Bowie.

As most of you probably know, David Bowie died on the 10th of Jan this year, just over a week ago, at age 69 after an 18 month battle with cancer.

I myself have been a massive Bowie fan for a very long time and even just recently visited the David Bowie exhibition that they had on in Melbourne about 2 months or so ago.
So this news hit me pretty hard.
I was in Europe when I heard and I just went onto the internet when I woke up to check out what was going on at home and all of a sudden, my social media was just flooded with the news.
I basically went straight into shock and didn't actually sit down and think about it until later that afternoon when I had the hotel room to myself and I sat and listened to his music and cried and mourned him.

Anyway, all of my sadness aside, it got me thinking how intense my emotions were towards the death of a person that I had never met.
And by extension, how much of an influence someone can be when we have never actually met or spoken to them. When we really don't know what they're like, their personality, but they can still completely shape our lives.

I believe that we all have at least one person like this, whether it's a musician that gives you the energy to get out of bed when you're hungover, a sportsperson that inspires you to work towards your goals, a scientist that motivates you to use your brain.
Regardless, I think everyone has someone like that.

These people can almost influence us more than people that are actually around us everyday.

And when these people's lives end, it affects you, and that's okay.
For me, the basic fact that I don't live in a world with David Bowie in it anymore breaks my heart.
It doesn't seem right.
But at the same time, it's reminded me that life is short and you really do have to make the most of it.

So basically, in this post I just wanted to thank Bowie for everything that he's done for the world, the strength he's given people, the way he's forced the world to see things from a different perspective.
And just to say thank-you, because he's influenced my life and his music will continue to live on.


I WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU GUYS:
Leave me a comment telling me about maybe someone in your life that you feel this way about, or maybe you don't have one and that'll get me to shut up and see something from a different perspective again.
Anyway, talk to me xxx

Love you all,
xxxxxxxx T


LINKS
Instagram: instagram.com/taylorbekkers
Twitter: twitter.com/TaylorBekkers
Google+: https://plus.google.com/107161687567523030394
Tumblr: ottenere-scopata.tumblr.com

Sunday, 17 January 2016

What I Learnt in Europe

Hey guys,

Okay so as anyone that's read my last few posts will know - I'm currently on a Contiki trip right now in Europe, which is why I haven't posted in a while.

So, I am currently sitting in my hotel room in Florence, Italy - not sure when this post will go up, but that's where I am right now.

This trip has just been insane.
I'm not going to be one of those tourists who goes into extreme detail about every single day where I was and what I was doing for a few reasons;

1. This trip has been for me, I'm not into sharing what I did with the world, they're my memories and I want some of them to stay that way
2. I know that no one really cares about that shit.

What I do want to talk about is the way in which this trip has changed my entire outlook on life in general.

So, bit of catch up for anyone who is reading my blog for the first time, 3 weeks before I came on this trip, my relationship ended.
It was hard, and I mean really hard.
I was at a point in my life during my relationship and after it ended where I was struggling a bit with stress and a lot of things were getting to me.

Anyway, this trip has completely healed me of all of that pain, made me realise how much better I can do and will do, and has just opened my eyes to what is really important in my life.
Enjoyment.

I realised now that at home, for the last few months, I haven't been concentrating on myself, I haven't been happy.

On this trip, I have taken a step back from my own head, from stress, from everything and just relaxed and enjoyed every moment.
I've enjoyed every day - regardless of whether I was exhausted and hungover (which to be honest has been most days), whether it was raining or the sun was shining, no matter what.

I've honestly met the most amazing people who have also opened my eyes incredibly to how good my life can be. People I can be myself around, people who make me laugh constantly, who's lives are just so different to mine, even a guy who I can relax with - without worrying about the future or what is happening, just focusing on the present and letting the rest happen.

And this is the way that I want to live every day from now on.
This is the way that I will live every day from now on - and I totally recommend that you do too.

This is my crucial advice to all of you:
Don't spend too much time in your own head, escape it.
Explore new places, meet new people, have flings, have conversations with people you never thought you'd talk to.
Eat new things, explore new things, be new things.


Thanks for reading guys,
When I get home and have more time I will of course be posting heaps more stuff about my actual trip for those of you who care.
Let me know in the comments what parts that you would like to hear about - or chuck me an email :)

Love you all,
xxxxxxxx T


My instagram: instagram.com/taylorbekkers
My tumblr: ottenere-scopata.tumblr.com
My twitter: twitter.com/TaylorBekkers
Email: taylorbekkers2@gmail.com